3 Big Blessings

Happy Mother's Day!
I am sitting on a swing watching my kid run around throwing footballs, bouncy balls and little white baseballs. It is amazing to me to think that these 2 little people are mine. And that they are growing and changing and becoming more and more independent of me. Makayla even puts on her own shoes and picks out her own clothes now! And she does not always appreciate my input on what I want her to wear ;-) Oscar is running and teasing his big sister and getting quite a big pinion of himself when all the girls he meets so far, fawn all over him!
I've wanted to be a Mom my whole life! Even during those melodramatic high school years that I proclaimed I would never get married, I always thought I would still adopt and be a mother.
But no one ever told me how hard it is. How from the second I saw that little + sign appear, I felt different, more grown up, or suddenly could not stop gushing about the life inside of me. And that never went away. The sudden "mama bear" fierceness I had against anyone who threatened my little family. The way I cry over the silliest of things, like Disney cartoons. The way I gave up my old life style, my old stretch-mark free skin, my old weight. Every one said "sleep now!" But they forgot to say "you'll never sleep soundly again" The way I made more room in my heart, like I never thought I could, for another little blessing. No one told me that I would love like this. Or that I COULD love like this. They also forgot to mention how horrible I could feel after yelling at them. Or how low I would be when my daughter said "Mom, you make me sad when you yell". Where was the person before I had kids saying "be careful you can NEVER take it back, this is it!". Every decision is made with them in mind. Even when they are gone, they are still in my mind. I should have known how hard it would be...
But I had a great role model. And she made it look easy. 7 kids, moving around the country, and still she smiled and sang hymns. She still tucked us in every night and woke us up every morning with a smile. She never yelled or grumbled when I woke her up after a nightmare, or made her rub my back so I could fall asleep. She never rolled her eyes when I asked for help with homework, or made a huge mess. She never yelled back, when I yelled at her. She loved so fully and deeply and unconditional that I never knew how hard it was to be a Mom. She made it look easy.
So for my beautiful role-model, and for the 2 beautiful reasons that I AM a Mom, Happy Mother's Day!
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