Happy Birthday Baby

I waited my whole life to become a mother.

Just as a warning, this is going to be a very VERY long post.

Also, semi graphic, if you aren't into birth stories

I won't be offended (or even know) if you don't read this.

Just thought I'd warn you.

So bear with me while I recount the story of Makayla's birth.

Because I have never written it down before.

And as she turns 3 I am feeling nostalgic.

When Jordan and I decided to have a baby,

it only took once.

I knew almost immediately that I was pregnant.

I'm one of those paranoid people that takes pregnancy tests at LEAST once a month.

So when we decided to have a baby, I actually didn't WANT to take a test.

Before every negative I got was a good thing.

Now, I didn't ever want to see that negative sign again.

But that night I had a dream.

There was a baby crying on the couch, I just sat and let it cry until it said

"why aren't you holding me? i'm your child"

Shocked I picked the baby up and we talked all night.

I don't remember anything we talked about after that

except that it was all about the future.

I called my Mom the next day and was telling her about it

when I caved and decided to take a test anyway.

It was positive.

I was still on the phone with my Mom when Jordan came home.

I forgot that the test was still on the counter in the bathroom.

So that's how HE found out.

Happy us!

A week later I had severe SEVERE pains.

After spending all night doubled over in pain,

Jordan decided to take me to the ER.

So that's how our families found out.

Luckily after a million tests

(And Jordan and I found out we both faint at the sight of blood)

We found out I was only about 2 weeks along,

but the baby (as far as they could tell) was alive and still safe in my belly.

I was due in March, and somewhere in the beginning february

I started having lots and LOTS of braxton hicks.

Everyday starting at 1pm getting harder and closer together

Until about 3am when I would fall asleep and wake up with them over.

UGH!

My nurses didn't believe me, until the hooked me up to a machine

said "wow, it DOES look like you are going into labor... but you're not!"

I wasn't dilated at ALL! Not even a TEENY TINY BIT!

Then on March 13th there were NO braxton hicks.

I went to bed that night, blissfully happy and in no pain.

Then I woke up at 3:30 to go to the bathroom.

Jordan was still awake watching October Sky.

My water broke at 3:45 am.

(here's a graphic part)

I was on the toilet.

After weeks of complaining that I wouldn't know if my water broke

because knowing my luck, I'd be on the toilet or in the shower...

It broke on the toilet.

I remember the time exactly,

because Jordan asked if I could wait until his movie was over.

Silly men.

I did wait.

Silly me.

I don't know if you have ever ridden in a car with Jordan,

let's just say he thinks the speed LIMIT is the very slowest a person should go.

But for some reason on the way to the hospital he drove the speed limit!

We had been told that the hospital wouldn't let you eat,

so we decided to stop at McDonalds for a breakfast sandwich.

I LOVE their breakfast sandwiches, but we never wake up in time to eat them!

(not to mention they are NOT very healthy!)

Jordan was chatting up the drive through lady

telling her all about how I was in labor and such

And I remember thinking

"really? right now? let's go, where's the panicky husband from the movies?"

Finally we made it to the hospital and as we were pulling in sight of it

Carrie Underwood's "American Girl"

came on the radio.

Jordan asked if it was fate...

We made it to the hospital and had to wait and wait and wait in the lobby.

Yes my water had broken, I had already filled out the preadmission paperwork weeks ago.

And yes, they still made me wait. And asked me silly questions like

"do you feel safe going home"

with Jordan standing right behind me.

They didn't believe my water had really broken

(here's another graphic part)

They drew some blood and told me to go pee in a cup because I wasn't dilated AT ALL!

STILL! She said even being generous, she couldn't say I was at a 1!

So I went and filled the cup.

It was all amniotic fluid,

The nurses apologized and got the ball rolling a little faster

Seeing as I really WAS in labor.

I cried when they put the IV in.

I hate needles, and Jordan had to leave the room

(see earlier about fainting with blood/needles)

I finally got to my room at about 6.

Jordan hadn't been to sleep yet, so I told him to try and get some rest.

I couldn't sleep I was too excited. And bored.

So I just sat there.

I know what you're thinking,

Aren't most people in a lot of pain at this point?

Not me.

I know. Weird.

They gave me some pitocin, hooked up some monitors, and gave me a popsicle.

Then oxygen.

A nurse came in about every 15 minutes to check on me.

I realized after I had Oscar that this is actually weird

Especially for a busy hospital like Winnie Palmer.

They kept having me roll over and move.

I didn't know then that an alarm kept going off because the babies heart rate kept dropping.

It was starting to hurt a little now, and I was finally starting to dilate

So the doctors suggested an epidural to calm things.

Jordan had to leave again.

I sat holding the nurse on the edge of the bed and I couldn't stop shaking.

Getting an epidural is scary.

The only think motivating me to keep going with it

Was the lady in the next room in labor

Screaming her head off.

I got the epidural, Jordan came back and we watched The Price is Right.

More nurses, more rolling, more oxygen.

More of Jordan sleeping and me being bored

because this time I couldn't move.

My legs were SO heavy! I kept begging Jordan to move them for me.

The nurses asked if we had any names picked out.

We didn't know what we were having yet.

We had known a boy name right off the bat,

but we were STILL arguing about girl names.

But when the nurse asked, I said

Makayla Maureen.

Jordan said

Really? Ok!

Then around 2pm the nurse said I was FINALLY at a 10!

I know, not really finally, considering it was only 10 hours after my water broke.

But I went from a 4 to a 10 in the last 3 hours, after being nothing at the beginning.

Then just as the nurses were starting to prepare for labor

The doctor came in and asked me to sign something "just in case"

I needed a c-section.

We hadn't even thought about a c-section before.

No one had said anything.

But my mother in law had 3 c-sections, so I feel lucky to at least know something about it.

I signed the paper,

and as soon as I finished the doctor hit a big red button

Yelled something into the intercomm

and our room was flooded with nurses and doctors

Pulling wires, moving things, all rushing about.

I looked at Jordan and his face was white.

It's the first and only time I've ever seen him scared.

Sad, mad, upset, happy, worried etc... I'd seen all those.

Scared white? Never.

So I panicked too.

We were rushed out of the room to an elevator.

When the doors shut everything went silent, just elevator music.

Then the doors opened again and we were rushed to an operating room.

They stopped Jordan at the door to put on his scrubs.

They took me in and moved me to the operating table.

They started poking my belly asking me if I could feel it.

In my panic I kept yelling that I could feel it and not to cut me open!

They didn't listen though, luckily, although I could "feel it" it didn't actually hurt.

I was just scared.

Then I saw Jordan's face after what seemed an eternity.

I didn't even know they were already pulling the baby out.

Jordan and the doctors kept telling me to breathe but I couldn't.

Then I heard a baby cry.

And all the air rushed out of me.

"it's a girl"

I couldn't even see Jordan anymore.

I remember a little pink blur they held close to my chest for me

(my arms were strapped down)

And then everything went dark.

I woke up again about 3 hours later in a LOT of pain.

ALL of the medication had worn off.

And I don't know if YOU'VE ever had your stomach cut open.

But it hurts.

I tried to get someone's attention to let them know I was awake and in pain

But I couldn't talk, I could barely even move!

Finally a kind nurse walked by, filled my iv tube with blessed medicine.

And the world went dark again.

2 hours later Jordan woke me up. I was still in recovery,

but this time he brought Makayla with him.

My beautiful baby girl.

I still couldn't talk. I just held her and cried.

She changed my life from the second I dreamed of her.

She can always make me smile.

There is not enough words or love in this entire world to explain to you how much I love her.

Maybe, if you're a parent too, you can understand that.

She amazes me.

And she loves me.

She makes me want to be better in every way.

And I can't believe that she is already 3!

Makayla shares a birthday with her Uncle Sam, my youngest brother.

They are 14 years apart. This year was the first year they got to hang out for their birthday!

It was great! She loves telling people her Uncle Sam has a birthday too!

Happy Birthday Baby Girl!

I love you more than you will ever know!

Thanks for sticking with me till the end.

I know it was long.

And in case you are as nostalgic as I am...

Her first birthday

Her second birthday